Motherhood

Richard and I have been married for a whole 3 months now (wahoo!), and already our thoughts have turned towards a family. Now, before you read on, I am not announcing that we are expecting! There is simply something special I think about being married in the temple that automatically turns your heart and mind towards the family. Currently we have no set plan for when or how many kids we'll have. We are pretty open to whatever the Lord wants for us, but I have been experiencing some crazy emotions about the idea of starting a family that I hadn't anticipated.
Since I was a little girl, it has been my dream to have a little family of my own; to be a mommy to cute little boys and girls. I spent hours playing with, dressing up, feeding, and caring for my little baby dolls just like how I saw my mommy take care of her babies (including myself). Now since Richard and I are in the position to be able to create one of our own, I feel like I have lost those exciting rose-collored glasses that I have always worn, and it has been scaring me! I have started to realize just how much work it requires to be a good mommy, and am wondering if I have what it takes to do it? There is a lot of change that comes into a marriage once kids are introduced, and all of the sudden I have been filled with a selfish glutteny to keep my Richard to myself.
All of these things and more have been filling my mind over the last few weeks. As I have battled these new, unwelcome feelings, I have gone to my Father in prayer asking to be prepared for being a mom some day, and praying to be able to be excited about that time. I have been amazed at what he has blessed me with.
Just yesterday, Richard and I got to go to the pool with cousin Christine and her three girls. Richard and I played with the two older girls in the bigger pool and it was there that Heavenly Father helped to open my eyes. As I swam there in the pool I watched my husband as he tenderly held both Lydia and Clara in his arms, twirling and splashing them in the water. His smile was so bright and genuine. He continued to play with them for the hour and a half or so that we were at the pool and hardly tired from throwing Lydia into the water like she asked and making sure Clara kept her head above the water as she tried to swim to him and "suprise" attack his shoulder. Despite the fact that it was tiring, I could see that it was bringing him so much joy. I began to feel giddy again to think that HE will be the daddy to our kids, and to know/ realize that it's work that tends to bring us great joy.
Then today, right after I said my morning prayer, again asking to be able to be prepared to be a mom and to able to be excited about it, I came across this mormon message video and simply knew that it was inspired for me to watch it. (Watch it... it's a good one!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbYLKVgwztY&feature=player_embedded

I'm so very thankful that God hears my prayers, and I know that Richard and I will be ready to take on the task and responsibility of raising a family at the right time, and we will be EXCITED beyond imagination! :)